Leave

Have you ever read a book and felt as though the author wrote each line for you alone. When you’ve only read the introduction, and you know that the following 200+ pages might just change your life. And even if they don’t, the first 4 already have?!

In just this past week, I’ve been earnestly praying for God to reveal his plan for my future. I’ve been, and still am, really content with BEING STILL and knowing that HE IS GOD. I’m not worried about my life after college, but I’m definitely curious. And up until recently, I was just verbalizing my trust in God, but there was a HUGE disconnect from my head to my heart. I was, for a long time, putting a time limit on letting God figure things out. “If I don’t know by February, then I’ll start just pursuing random things.” This was my attitude. It was completely wrong and disobedient, but I just had this irrational idea that if God did make it blatantly clear where I’d be living in September 2008, then I’d just figure it out on my own!!!

Let me revisit this book I’ve mentioned. I’m sitting in a café in Menomonie grabbing a quick lunch and trying to focus on homework. I had a quiet time as my food was prepared where I thought God had revealed a great deal to me already. But then, as my food was put before me (and might I say, it was the best panini I’ve ever had!), I reached into my backpacked and decided to just let myself (instead of actually doing homework) read the Author’s Note of Donald Miller’s new book Through Painted Deserts.

I closed it, sat in reflection for a few short minutes, and decided that now is the perfect time to let you all in- to read this blog- and experience this journey with me. Because Miller has presented me with one simple word that might just change my life- and consequently yours too.

Leave.

I can securely title my blog Leave, becuase whether I move somewhere in the fall or not, I’ll still be leaving in May to travel for my 3rd summer on staff. And in reading this you’ll be able to keep up with the who’s what’s, where’s, and when’s of my travels. And if I move somewhere in the fall- well then- double bonus!!

I almost don’t know where to start to tell you how much Miller’s note resounded in me. Here’s a short (ok, it’s long- but necessary) passage that I want to share to, in some way, help you connect with what I’m realizing right now:

“And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn’t it?”

^ that’s good right? And the following passage came directly after, and spoke directly to me.

“It might be time for you to go.

It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word to you:

Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn’t it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don’t worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.”

I’ve felt a huge pull on my heart to do something really different after Summer Staff. What that is, I’ve yet to figure out; and by “figure out,” I mean, God has yet to reveal it to me. There are some places of interest- Georgia being the dominant one, but I don’t know what will become of that.

For now I will continue to seek truth, pursue righteousness, and know that, with God as the author of my story, I can trust him with the pen. Because, truthfully, He’s got something better for me than I can even begin to dream of, and I want to know what it is.

and so-
It all started with one simple word:

Leave.