Thanks be to God.

This should be a really obvious post. There are, of course, so many things I am grateful for. Today, although for some reason it didn’t feel like a holiday, I found myself in shallow reflection at random times thinking about all the things I’ve been so thankful for this past year. As I’ve sat down to list some of them, I realize that the list runs so long and so deep. This past year has shaped me as a person- perhaps more than any year I’ve ever lived. I have so much to be thankful for and I shout praised unto God for all the blessings He’s given me. Even here, at the end of my rope, I know there is so much of God and His rule in my life. I could not be more content.

Today is a designated day to give thanks. But I am so thankful everyday I reflect upon my past and look, with joyful hope, into my future.

I’m grateful for
Great final times at 402.5 - amazing college roommates are literally 1 in a million and I was beyond blessed to get to spend some of the greatest years with such amazing people. I am grateful for the moments (of all kinds) that we got to share.

Graduation- there were many days I feared I’d never see the day. But, thank the gracious God above; I made it (with honors….sort of)!

The Clymer Family- You will probably never know how deeply you’ve impacted my life. But when I find myself still coming to tears when I think about how much I love and miss you- I know I’m forever indebted. You took a risk on me; a risk that- somehow, someday - will pay off. I am so thankful for your grace and peace as I started out on this rocky road of self discovery. Thank you for believing in me. I love you.

My entire Valleybrook family- In so many ways you made it SO VERY hard to leave Eau Claire- but at the same time, I have never felt so encouraged and loved as I stepped forward into the life God has called to live.

The Summer of ’08- this could be a book in itself (and maybe someday it will be….ashley!) For crew dynamics. Justin, Renee, and Aaron- I can’t imagine sharing this summer with any other crazy Groupies. There are so many things I doubted I’d be thankful for. But in reflection, I know I am so appreciative of the “opportunities” I was presented with throughout the summer. I’m grateful for Racine, Wakpala, and Mission and all the wonderful people of the communities. For having a camp so close to home, and in the middle-of-no-where South Dakota. For Native Americans and their willingness to share their culture. And for the education I received through life experience. For the Wrangler Inn, Mo-Rest and some great nights of laughter, sickness (Emetrol!!), and sleep. For Friday night evacuations and National Guard Armories. And, of course, roll-over accidents (and all that is encompassed in that and runs so deep in my being now) For apologies, forgiveness, and lessons learned. For a spur-of-the-moment decision that resulted in an extra road trip and time with friends. And in all of this, I’m most thankful for all the people God has brought into my life through my time at Group. I have developed some of the deepest, most meaningful friendships- the kind that will last forever. I can’t imagine doing life without this family- this dysfunctional yet dynamic family.

Our New Orleans trip- Not only did being there remind me of some classic time spent with Crew 2 (the “best worst day” ever) Being back and working in the community, although my contribution was small, made such a huge impact: mostly in me. That was such a unique week in my life. I was in such an uncomfortable place- having just survived and still recovering from the accident, having just left Denver and the comfort bubble of Summer Staff, and heading into so many unknown details of my future. That week was tough, so super emotional, and filled with one of the biggest breakdowns I’ve ever experienced. I didn’t think I had a single thing to give that week. I was completely spent before I even got off the plane (having cried the entire flight) and that first night I continued to just be drained. (maybe only one other person knows this) but I spent my first night sobbing (quite uncontrollably) alone in my room, unsure if I’d even be able to get out of bed the next morning to work on a site with our students. And by grace alone, God picked me up and used me in that city and in our group. And before we even left, He began to mend me and prepare me for the future. How flippin’ cool!

For unemployment- not even kidding. I'm learning some of the coolest lessons during this season. It isn’t always obvious, and I’m not always delightful, but I’m certainly very thankful. To be in a place of near complete dependence can teach lessons that no other place in life offers. But I’m thankful, too, that I’ve been able to continue to make ends meet. God is so great that without a job, I am able to always have enough money in my account to pay my monthly bills. (not that I want to live like this for much longer) but I’d been pretty cool to babysit, temp, cut grass, and take care of 94 year olds enough to remain out of debt. (this method is, of course, not highly recommended!)

I’m so very thankful for my parents- Again, what a huge risk you’ve taken on me. To continue the journey of self discovery under a roof that, although I don’t want to stay under for very long, provides such an abundance of encouragement, support, and love. I don’t make it easy; I know. But I am thankful for the adjustments and the sacrifices you make to help me during this time. I promise it’ll payoff someday (someway, somehow). I love you.

And for my sisters- You’ve always gone before me. You set the most wonderful examples and I’m so very lucky to have such positive role models in my life. To know that no question or circumstance I encounter is ever too ridiculous to discuss with you means the world. I am so grateful for your love and support. And the belief you both have in me- that I’m good enough. I love you.

I’m thankful for Kenosha and the longtime friendship that gets to be re-flourished here. For a new church community that I’m confident will, in a new way, fill the void of community I so desperately need after leaving Valleybrook. For interviews, empty promises, rejection, and the insight I’ve gained through it all. For my cousins, aunt, and grandma- I hardly understand the situation, but I know there is genuine love shared among us, and so I continue to hope that love would work like a magnet.

I could go on forever. More than anything, I am thankful for my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I wouldn’t have imagined that it could be this intimate and rewarding. But God’s this big- to give me so much in the perfect ways only He knows how. I didn’t always know this. And I certainly didn’t always see it this way. But this year, in particular, has been different. I am different- as in Holy. Set apart. Truly a Hairy Sparrow.

And now, I must sleep. (everyone knows how extremely grateful I am for sleep of any capacity in any facility!!) My sister will be here at 4:30am to pick mom and me up for a traditional morning of insanely nonsensical shopping. (although, with no money, I’m really only going to save tradition)

I pray that God continues to bless you and that you remember to be content and grateful whatever the circumstances because His timing is perfect and He, alone, knows what’s best.