Dear NeNee

While I was home, I also visited my little cousins. I used to babysit them every Wednesday night (and usually at least once more during the week) for, like, 6 years. Anyway, there situation is FAR from ideal. Their parents aren't together anymore and there is so much hurt and anger in thier lives.

While we were sitting at the table coloring, I wrote Jeffrey (he's in 1st grade) a note. It said something like: You are SUPER COOL. RIDICULOUSLY RAD. TOTALLY AWESOME. and I
LOVE YOU more than all the ICE CREAM in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! I made a
similar one for Jessica. She's 4. When Jeffrey said "how about you BUY me all the ice cream in the whole world!" it was a perfect opportunity to tell him how much more important love is than the things you can buy.
As we continued to color, Jessica told me that she wanted to write me a note. Here's the result. As she wrote, she verbalize what it said. (Thank goodness because I haven't mastered the art of translating 4 year old scribble yet!) It says something like



"Dear NeNee, You are so super cool and awesome. I love you more than Disney Princesses"

I know! "AAAwwwww" right?!? Then she drew a picture that is now proudly hanging up in my office. It's of her and I.....obviously.


Honestly, the time I spent with my cousins broke my heart. They have so much potential but are in need of so much love, love that they aren't getting. After we were done coloring, Jeffrey and Jessica got in a fight and Jeffrey bit her. I took him in his room and we had a little chat. All I could see was a kid infront of me screaming out for nothing more than LOVE itself. They've been given every toy they've ever wanted and are still so empty inside. I reminded him about our earlier chat and how important love is. But "I hate my sister." is all I heard. Then when I told him it was okay for him to be angry and hurt and sad that his dad didn't live with them anymore, his little eyes welled up (and mine did too). I said "I bet no one has ever told you that before" and he just shook his head no. I told him that it was okay for him to not like what Maggie (his dad's new girlfriend) cooked for dinner. But that his dad needs her love now too. And that now, more than ever, he needs his brother and sister's love.

And now, I'm left to pray. (and I'm asking you to do the same.) I would love nothing more than to be able to live with them right now. I know that I could give them so much love. I want to love on my aunt too. She's doing her best. But she has her own battles and loving 3 kids on your own is so unimaginably hard!

Here's the biggest thing I've learned. We looked at a quote in youth group last year. We've got nifty little magnets and t-shirts as reminders. But now I see what this must look like because:

"...instead of withholding love to change somebody, I poured it on lavishly. I hoped love would work like a magnet, pulling people from the mire and toward healing."

^^ this is all I want. I want to pour so much love into this family that it would pull them out off all of their crap to a place of healing. I believe it can happen. I've seen it happen. I'm praying for it to happen. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to see this family become healthy.